


Horde Roleplay: Crack

by Alxbaster02, Prince_of_Azuna, TheBansheeQueen



Series: The Crimson Company [5]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Ervine, Ervine Ailelumi - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Hae'lynn, Hae'lynn Ailelumi - Freeform, Josephene, Josephene Riverfell - Freeform, M/M, More tags to be added, Nathanos, Undead, World of Warcraft - Freeform, Wow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-06 17:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15890583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alxbaster02/pseuds/Alxbaster02, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_of_Azuna/pseuds/Prince_of_Azuna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBansheeQueen/pseuds/TheBansheeQueen





	1. Mission improbable

“No!” the two voices objected in unison “Not a chance!”

Nathanos sighed shortly at the two people before him, the nightborne was the first to talk, “I cannot work on that kind of covert mission with her. Why can’t Hae’lynn take her place in the mission?” Ervine’s jaw was tight, he rarely objected to an order but this...with her…

“Because” Nathanos explained “Hae’lynn will be assisting me in Drustvar. Besides, this mission was given to you by the dark lady specifically, you should be honored”

Josephene growled lowly, crossing her arms, “I can do the mission, just not with him.” she grit her teeth “He’s a cock-sucking, obnoxious, stick up the ass, dick. Coverts are fucking dumb anyway. Why can’t I go in swords swinging?” 

“Yes, because bringing the entire house and it’s guard down upon you is as an excellent idea” Nathanos narrowed his eyes “If you don’t have the skill to handle it-”

“You know I have the skill, Blightcaller” Josephene snapped “But this isn’t my fucking style, it’s a waste of time. Besides,” she shuddered “pretending to date him” she gagged dramatic causing Ervine to scowl at her. 

“I assure you I am even less pleased about the idea” he replies curtly “Nathanos, I implore you to send me with someone else. I don’t think we can complete this to the best of our ability in this partnership”

“Yeah, send me with someone who isn’t a dickhole”

“Enough” the dark ranger barked sharply “you are both members of the horde, this bickering is what I would expect from children.”

Ervine sighed, “Forgive me, you’re right. I won’t fail the mission”

Nathanos’ expression relaxed a fraction “I know you won’t.” he gives Josephene a glance. She scowls deeply,

“...fine”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Josephene adjusted the collar of her suit and looked at her face uncomfortably in the mirror. Her living face staring back at her, high cheekbones, light freckles, pretty eyes. It felt wrong. Yet this was probably going to be the second weirdest thing she experienced this evening. 

“A lady shouldn’t scowl like that, your face will crease.”

Josephene hisses at Ervine in the mirror “Bite me” she could see his suited reflection in the mirror. He had traded his nightborne form for what she assumed was his old night elf form. Long black hair pulled into a ponytail, his skin was a paler blue and his eyes were now a striking yellow. Her scowl deepened, annoyingly he looked good. His eyes ran up and down her briefly,

“You look rather nice” he complimented, she snarled at him in response,

“I will punch you in the throat” 

He shrugged lazily and walked into the room, “you’ll have to cut the attitude when we’re dealing with the alliance”

Josephene grumbled something before sighing “Why are we going to an Alliance ball again?”

“Information, sabotage, so forth”

“Information? Like possible alliances and shit?”

“Precisely” 

“Why do we have to pretend to be a couple to do that?”

Ervine sighed shortly “It’s the identities that have been set up for us. You’re a kul turian human noble trying to decide if you wish to lend support to the alliance cause, I, your night elf lover, am trying to convince you to do so by introducing you to alliance socialites.”

“Please don’t use “lover” and “your” in the same sentence. That’s disgusting” 

Ervine rolled his eyes “I am no more pleased than you.” he sighed “We should get this over with. I don’t wish to spend more time with you than necessary.” 

“Ditto”

 

\------------------------------------

 

They both walked into the room, standing somewhat awkwardly, observing the others in the hall around them. Ervine watched the groups socialising together, he managed a small smile, “me and Hae’lynn met at a party like this” he comments more to himself than Josie. 

She gives him a side eye “Wow, romantic.” she comments sarcastically “A hall of asskissers and morons, the perfect setting for any lovers meeting” 

“It’s not about location, more so the person,” he remarks, he tenses briefly “We should perhaps try to hold hands or something couple related”

“Please no” 

“We’re on a mission, stop taking this so personally” he holds out his arm, she looks at his arm like it's on fire, slowly, slowly moving her hand towards his arm before pulling back sharply, 

“Yeah, no. Can’t do it”

He scowls at her “Undead.”

“No”

“Undead.”

“Nope”

He rolls his eyes, “I didn’t realise the idea of touching me gets you so flustered”, Josie snorts loudly, few heads turning to give her a weird look, 

“Give over” 

“You’re making a scene, dear” Ervine speaks loudly for the onlookers to hear, “Your hair doesn’t look outdated, now stop being silly” the few other alliance party-goers seemed content with that subject of the disruption, a few giving a gentle laugh of amusement at the ‘noble’ issue. He gives her a pointed look at her almost attracting more attention than either of them wanted. She groaned, “Fine, but I’m wearing the pants in this relationship” 

Ervine sighed “Yes, dear” 

“And you hold my arm, I’m not holding onto you like some damsel”

“Yes, dear”

He slowly leans down and places his hand on her elbow, he rolls his eyes again as she shoots him a smirk, “How’s it feel being the bitch in the relationship?”

“Yes, de-” he coughs awkwardly “Let's get this over with”

They navigated over to a small group where Ervine began the introductions, Josephene was doing her best not to listen, she hated these kinds of events,

“And this is my love; Lady Josephene-”

“Sup”

Ervine’s eyebrow twitched and he squeezed her arm sharply. “Such a sense of humor” Ervine hissed slightly “such comedy should probably be saved for closer relationships, love. We don’t wish to make a bad impression”

One of the female humans smiled cheerily “It’s quite alright, such informality is refreshing in a place this”

“See?” Josie grins “Not everyone is as stick-up-assed as you” 

The human male in the conversation frowned “you let your woman speak to you in such a way?”

The undead shot him a snarl “I ain’t ‘his’ woman. I’m my own woman. Don’t you forget it-”

“Her independence is a trait that gives credit to her noble heritage” Ervine interrupts “I would never try to smother it.”

“A noble?!” the woman speaks excitedly, ah, now they were getting somewhere. As luck would happen, the woman was a vicious socialite that had many contacts and a great interest in gossip. Ervine listened idly as she spilled endless information to Josephene, unfortunately, Josie took this woman's gossip as a chance to humiliate him,

“He’s just not satisfying me like a real man would” Josie sighed “Baby dick syndrome and all that” she shoots him a glance "and he's so controlling, thinks he can get away with it cuz' he's a man"

“Ooh gurl” the woman spoke, “you can do better”

Josie grinned, “damn right I can” she turned to her ‘date’ and raised her voice “We’re through, I can’t deal with you asking me to finger your ass anymore. You don’t even have the dick to make up for it” she flicked her hair “Goodbye. Don’t write.” and with that, she strolled from the hall. Josie had spoken loud enough for her voice to echo around the hall and attach nearly everyone's attention. Eyes still on him, Ervine sighed. She better have gotten the information needed he thinks bitterly as he leaves the hall silently. 

\------------------------------------

Nathanos and Hae’lynn turned away from their idle conversation as Ervine and Josephene approached,

“Enjoy your date?” Nathanos asked as they approached, Josephene sneered,

“I got the information and publicly dumped his ass”

Ervine sighed shortly as the undeads looked at him in amusement. Hae’lynn rests a hand on his arm, “I missed you” she smiles at him causing his expression to un-tense, 

“And I you” he admits “that suit was wasted on the undead, you would have worn it better”

“Fuck you” Josephene speaks “I looked fucking majestic”

“You and I understand the word “majestic” very differently it seems”

“You’re just angry I dumped your ass. Hung up on me it seems”

“Aw Josie” Hae’lynn pouts “Don’t be mean”

Josephene pouts in return “He started it”

From the side Nathanos rolled his eyes, “children, I swear…”


	2. A party to remember

“I feel like you’re not taking this very seriously…” Hae’lynn spoke carefully taking in the outfits her friends had elected to select for a party her parents were hosting. Tez’asiya was fine. She’d stayed true to her Zandarlari origins; a pretty golden and red dress covered in detailed skulls and lines that glimmered when the light touched them. That was fine, it was the other two that made Hae’lynn pout.

Daeion was the least ridiculous of the pair, she’d decided to just put on a bra and skirt. That was it. She tilted her head at Hae’lynn “What? I’ve seen your kind head out in less than this. I’m just fitting in”

“Daeion, you’re pregnant” The Nightborne sighed “You should keep yourself better...protected”

“What, like...um belly armor?”

“Just-” Hae’lynn offered her a smile, “Something that covers you a bit better. I got cold easily when I was pregnant. I don’t want you freezing the whole time”

She then turned herself to Josephene “As for you...maybe lose the fake mustache?”

Josie rolled her eyes, shifting her monocle to eye the taller woman easier, “You’re telling me Nightborne don’t dress like this to parties?”

“Josie, most Nightborne can’t even grow facial hair” she frowned “and is the top hat really needed?”

“Yes! It’s part of the aesthetic”

From the sofa in the room, Ervine huffed “I told you she wouldn’t that this seriously”

The undead snorted a short laugh “You’re just jealous that I now have more facial hair than you”

“Besides the point” Ervine stood to stand next to his wife “why don’t you just use that dress Hae’lynn made you and use that pastmorphic potion I gave you yesterday”

“Whoops, I gave the potion to Makayla so she could go with Korvos”

“You-” he sighs shortly “I suspected you couldn’t be trusted with it. I had the foresight to make a spare.”

“See?” Hae’lynn smiled “Everything is figured out!”

Josie groaned “I don’t want to wear a dress” she complained loudly, “I’ll find something else”

“But I made it especially for you!” Hae’lynn pouts “The fabric is super comfy and everything!”

“Look Sparkles I appreciate-” she paused as she noticed Hae’lynn pulled her best puppy face, “no. stop using that face”

Somehow her eyes got wider.

“Sparkles. Stop it”

The pouting intensified.

“It’s not going to work on me”

 

\--------------------------------------------

Josie pouted in the corner of the hall, her dress fitting comfortably around her human form. “I hate everything”

Daeion smiled at her, her blush prominent as she took in the undead’s human form “You look good”

“It feels weird”

“Doesn’t look it”

Josephene snorted at the blatant flirting, a small blush of her own forming “yeah well.” she coughs awkwardly “you look...um...ok too”

The moment was shattered by another undead-turned-human waltzing towards them “What up cunts~”

The two women blinked dumbly at the newcomer, Josie speaking first “Holy shit- Makayla?!”

The previously rotting undead was unrecognisable; with long raven locks, bright purple iris’ and peachy skin she was actually a very, very attractive woman. And Josephene thought her transformation was dramatic. Daeion looked starstruck which caused Josephene to frown for a brief moment. Ah shit, Daeion’s weakness for pretty girls.

In response, Josie moved a slight bit closer to Daeion, resting a hand on her arm breaking the blood elf out of her daze to look at slight shock at the undead. Josephene ignored the look and coughed “You don’t look like complete shit anymore”

Makayla grinned “Thanks, Josie-wosie. I grew eyeballs and everything”

“Yes, I can see that”

“Same, because I now have eyeballs. Get it! Ahhh eye puns man”

Just when Josephene thought she couldn’t get anymore shocked, a certain blonde Nightborne slides up beside Makayla, “Heyyy guys” he was already drunk. Although his attitude and dumb face hadn’t changed, you could smell the sweetness of too much arcwine on him.

“Hey Kovos” Daeion smiled, “you look good”

“Don’t I *hic* know it”

“Fucking hell” Josephene snorted “how much have you had”

“A lot” Korvos confessed “Hae’lynn’s mother sucks, so *hic* me and Ervine always pre-drink before we meet her” he grins “and I’m a bit of a lightweight”

“It’s super cute though~” Makayla grins, clinging onto Korvos’ arm, “I like it more than I like having eyeballs”

“Wow” Korvos hiccups “eyeballs are sooo great so that's like- a crazy amount!”

Daeion and Josephene exchange confused looks before Korvos speaks again “Oh yeah. Daeion, Ervine wants to introduce you to Hae’lynn’s mother”

“What? Why?”

“Because you're a non-Nightborne, pregnant with the baby of the head of a big Nightborne *hic* house” he grins “which makes your kiddo the heir. Jyrela will be soooo mad”

“O-oh. I hadn’t thought about it like that”

“Come on” Makayla interrupts, clearly disliking the shift of conversation “Let's go dancing!”

“Yes, ma’am” Korvos hiccups “Laters~”

And with that he allowed himself to be dragged away to slow dance.

“Should we intervene?” Daeion asks quietly “he’s drunk so-”

“Nah, let Makayla have her fun” Josephene laughs “what's the worst that could happen?”

\----------------------------------------------------

Hae’lynn giggled at the idle conversation between herself, Nyave, Scerlo, Ervine, and Tez’asiya. She was beyond pleased that Tez seemed to get along with her sisters, although she doubted she would like Luru very much if she came over…

Still, every so often Hae’lynn would turn to look for her other younger sister, find her, try to make eye contact and promptly be ignored. It seemed Luru was still angry with her. The thought made her sigh.

At the sound, Fleur wiggled a little bit in her arms, her legs kicking slightly from under the little dress Hae’lynn had made her. “What are you wiggling for?” she asked her to which Fleur giggled and squealed in excitement. The sight made Hae’lynn feel a little happier,

“Shall I take her for a bit?” Ervine asked from beside her, Hae’lynn had to admit her arms were getting slightly tired,

“If it’s no trouble” she smiled at her husband and allowed Fleur to be scooped up from her arms by the taller man. Kissing his daughter's cheek, Ervine settled Fleur comfortably in his free arm.

“Such a cute baby” Scerlo gushed happily “Madel keeps asking when she gets to babysit”

Hae’lynn smiled at the mention of her eldest niece “I’m afraid Tez’asiya has claimed the head babysitter spot”

Scerlo gasped in false offense “The shame! I can’t believe Madel isn’t allowed to babysit her new cousin” her expression shifted to a grin “You’ll just have to have another baby so you need more babysitters!”

From beside her Ervine laughed “It’s a work in progress” the implications of the comment made Hae’lynn blush slightly and Tez’asiya cackle.

“What makes ya tink I can only handle one baby?” she grins “I am da greatest babysitter ya city has ever seen”

Nyave snorted slight and rolled her eyes “Stars. One child is way too much for me to handle. I can’t fathom how anyone deals with more.”

Scerlo pouted softly “You and Uren don’t want children?”

“Nope”

“Aw, why not? I want more nieces and Nephews!”

“Ask Luru and Hae’lynn then. Myself and Uren are baby-free”

“Spoilsport”

“How was your honeymoon by the way” Hae’lynn asked sweetly,

“It was great. We knew we were taking a risk when we decided to not get married until the shield was down but, wow, do Goblins know how to party!”

The group laughed before Ervine’s expression twitched slightly, Hae’lynn frowned slightly “what?”

“Your mother is coming over”

Hae’lynn turned to see indeed, Jyrela was making her way towards them, a very big glass of Arcwine in hand. Scerlo whimpered slightly “Don’t say anything to upset her” she whispered at Ervine, “Luru is staying at her home at the moment, you know where mothers anger will be directed if you annoy her”

Ervine sighed shortly and nodded “I know”

“If it isn’t Miss Carriage” Jyrela spoke the second she was within earshot of the group “How are you Hae’lynn? Lose any more children since we last spoke, dear?”

Tez’asiya’s mouth literally fell open. She moved to say something but Scerlo gripped her arm in restraint. Thankfully, Ervine placed his arm around his wife’s waist and kissed her temple.

“Our household only seems to be gaining children at the moment” he spoke evenly “I’ll have to introduce you to our Sin’dorei friend, Daeion. She’s pregnant with Korvos’ child at the moment.”

Jyrela’s expression twisted as Ervine had hoped it would, “you’d allow a half-breed to inherit your estate?!”

“Of course. Why not?”

Jyrela snorted and took another gulp of her arcwine, Scerlo and Nyave exchanged glances, “We’re going to speak with Luru. We’ll speak to you soon” and with that, they shifted away. Jyrela’s gaze fell on Tez’asiya.

“And what are you meant to be? Their dishwasher or something?”

Tez’ eye twitched “I am Tez’asiya. Druid of Gonk and troll of the Zandalari empire” she stood up straighter “I am here as Hae’lynn and Ervine’s friend”

Jyrela rolled her eyes “You call your slaves friends now? How progressive”

With a sudden burst of blinding anger, Tez felt her fist lash out catching the Nightborne in the face and knocking her straight back onto the floor. Hae’lynn screamed in alarm drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Tez!” she squealed as her father appeared beside his wife,

Callo frowned “Jyrela! What did you do to her?!” Scooping her up in his arms, he sighed “It’s okay honey. We’ll get you a medic”

“I-I is she okay?!” Hae’lynn gasped at her father who offered a short smile,

“She’ll be okay, starlight” Callo called to the guards “Please show to troll out”

As he retreated, Ervine laughed openly “Excellent hit” he complimented as Tez shrugged,

“She asked for it”

The guards approached and Hae’lynn flicked them away “We can accompany her out”

From the background, Josephene and Makayla cheered and clapped “Yaasss, Blue. Let's get this party started!” Josephene disabled her disguise grabbed the nearest bowl and smashed it on the ground.

“Yay for random bitches being knocked over!” Makayla cheered, grabbing the nearest patron and shunting her over “wooooooo!!!”

Hae’lynn pouted “Look what you started”

Tez shrugged and Ervine chuckled again, Hae’lynn frowned at him “don’t encourage this!”

“Why not?” he asks innocently “It’s funny”

She huffs and strolls out of the building in a strop, Tez frowns “Is she gonna be upset wid me?”

“No” Ervine answers “She’ll see the humor in it when she gets home, don’t worry”

Fleur giggles in excitement at all the noises happening, mimicking Josie’s actions of smashing bowls with her empty hands, “Did you want to smash a plate too, Fleur?” Ervine asks softly as if he wasn’t casually asking his daughter if she'd like to destroy someone’s property. She wiggled in excitement, “Alright. Just this once before we leave.”

Tez laughed and picked up a small plate, handing it to Fleur and clapping as she threw it to the ground. Seeing what happened, Makayla and Josephene clapped too, “Now let her push someone over!” Makayla yelled as a drunk Korvos cheered from the side in agreement.

“Alright, we’ve had our fun.” Ervine sighed “Let's get all the children home before we’re arrested.”


End file.
